So this business is tough...
Ha.. NEWS FLASH!
I know, you already knew that. I'm wondering if anyone reads this blog any more? Hmm. Oh well, It's probably more for myself that I write it now, but you never know!
Anyway, So this business, as previously stated, is tough. You get nowhere, and you get there very feckin quickly. The thing is, when you're in this business you're bound to know someone who is more successful than you, no matter how little the success, you still feel as though a sharp little knife is driven into your heart.
Actually, more accurately, you feel as though you've been marked across the face. Because the ever tormented voice in your head won't let the idea that there is something wrong with you go.
For example, recently there have been actors who have come into my work place and their production has paid for their gym membership. And my little heart breaks each time I get a phone call from production to sign a new member because honestly, I feel I should be the one having my membership paid for.. not the one writing the receipt.
So I've decided again on LA or London. I think there are definitely highs and lows of being an actor, and in the low times I always think 'I need to get out of here'. But many have 'made it' and are successful here too! Such as Domnhall Gleeson, Brendan Gleeson, Cilian Murphy, Liam Neeson and so on...
The pond is smaller here, and there is a lot less competition, and maybe one day when I knock on the same doors too many times maybe they will eventually cast me in something!!
But that's not a guarantee is it? I mean I know the pond is massive (more like an ocean) in LA and in London or New York, but at least there are enough people that could potentially hire you, rather than say, the top 3 casting directors here in ireland would. There are more auditions in these places, more acting classes, more of an acting community (i'm assuming)...
So now I wait.. Come the end of this month, I will have decided if the move to California is realistic and doable.
Sorry, I got a bit side-tracked there... anyway, jealousy.. the title of this blog. I can't help but feel bogged down by other people's success, no matter how little, it's still more successful than anything I got going right now...
Bottom line is, I have to grow up.. and if anyone else is in the same boat then GROW UP! We cannot measure ourselves against someone else because everyone is different. And bottom line is, someone will always be more talented or skinner than you and you will always be forever envious of what they have, instead of trying to move on and enjoy your own life.
So get a grip people! Hakuna Matata and all that!